Jan 5, 2010
*First Teaser of the Year*
Howdy, folks!
So this a whole new year and I have a new WiP up my sleeve. Okay, so this probably comes as a surprise but Spirits Within has been trunked for now. I realised that it needs time. I'll go back to it, but for now it rests. Meanwhile, this SNI came to me in a rush right on the 1st of this month, this year. It's YA Contemporary, a genre-jump but I'm hopping excited about it. Tentatively titled Breaking Away, I'm putting up a snip which comes up in the beginning.
Some of you on the TWFT thread at AW might have read this before, so I'm sorry, but I promise I'll post something new on my next teaser.
Say hello to Ronnie here :)
***
*Lateness bites. Snipped*
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21 comments:
I like how your MC is looking for her to fight back. Very interesting. I'm wondering what has happened... I'm guessing she has lost her parents in a tragic way.
I really like your details, especially how the aunt lays out breakfast. Tells me a lot about her! And my boyfriend doesn't sleep-scream, but he does sleep talk. So I thought your line about it stripping away privacy was really clever!
I'm totally hooked. There's tons of mystery here, but in a perfect. I want to know why she sleep-screams, why she wants to hide in her hoodie/cap (awesome lines, btw), why everyone is so awkward around her. And the double locks--man!
Must. Read. More.
Guh. I love this! The details and flow are incredible.
I'm wondering what happened. Is she suicidal? Has some other tragedy occurred? Way to tease! :)
This is great! I love the way you use description to build character, tension and atmosphere - the breakfast layout, for example. Like Véro, I assumed tragic parental death: this is YA, after all! And that explains why she lives with her aunt and uncle and why they treat her like she's made of glass. Nice work.
MUST.KNOW.MORE
WOW! The Flow is awesome and I'm hooked. I have to know what happens next.
Wow - the flow is amazing, I'm completely hooked. I love your MC's inner monologue, and the way he sees his aunt and uncle. :)
I love how your MC is doing her best to heal, yet she rejects her Aunt. The uncle's reaction is also interesting. This piece flows like water. Can't wait to read more. :)
Ouu this sounds like it's gonna be good! *wonders if Bee might post a summary* Love that last paragraph. :)
I really like this. Have you done a snip of this before? Is there something up between her and the uncle? I may be confusing yours with someone else. I read a lot of teasers, lol.
I like the details. And the last line about a lock on her door is awesome. It gives us a shadow of could be going on.
The voice is so unique, almost a snarky ache. I'm very curious to know what is going on and what led her to her Aunt's.
The voice is great, and believable. I'm very interested!
I feel for your character -- like one of those dull aches. Really nice voice!
I really like the way you're building up your character with her voice and her comments. I feel close to her already. Great tease!
You've got a number of interesting things going on here but you've connected them all so it flows. Great work. I'm intrigued.
So good! I like that your MC's voice is a combination of a little snarky but still thoughtful-- not something I see very often. I want to read more! :-)
I love this. I think you can combine the first three sentences into one (they're very funny, by the way!); other than that, this flowed really well. I love how spunky your MC is, like when she says "Sleep-screaming is the worst habit. Completely strips away your privacy." This is great -- keep it up!
This is amazing. I'm intrigued by this relationship between your MC, aunt and uncle. Great Teaser!
I really love the details and everything! Great snip! I like the voice too!
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